Since committing to Ray I have had a feeling that is difficult for me to come to terms with. It’s so awkward that I’ve never even tried to convey it to anyone. An attempt will be made here.
There is a woman named Holly on Waiting China Family (our List Serve) who, along with her husband, has been Journeying to Josiah, their two-year old boy. What I know of her is limited to the postings, but in them you see such testimonies of Christ in her life. All is good, all comes from God Almighty – her faith is the size of a mustard seed, the kind Jesus spoke of in the Gospel of Matthew, allowing “you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you (Mt 17; 21).”
So three days before her family is to leave for China to bring their son home she recounts of falling off a stool while changing a light bulb, twisting her ankle, having it start to swell immediately. Her husband, who had heard the scream, elevated the now-hurting-quite-badly ankle immediately and got ice on it right away. But after that her family gathers around her and prays over her asking for a healing miracle (who can’t take one step, let alone a thousand of them, at the Great Wall of China with a bum ankle).
Within minutes she’s up and at em’ and there is no mark, swelling, or pain – as if she never fell. To quote her at this point, “You can believe it or not.” But it was her following line that registered with me: “I feel like Peter- as long as I keep my eyes on HIM, I can walk on water!”
I can relate to Holly’s last line. No, I can not walk on water like Peter, and don’t start thinking I think that! On the contrary, in the next Bible verse about Peter’s defiance of physics, he sinks due to a lack of faith; that is more like me. But, my growing realization – and acceptance – that God has had His Hand in this whole process is an article of faith, actually. And if that is the case, it must then be acknowledged that God has protected Rose and me and Ray to this point. To share further, and more pointedly, I have felt physically safe since committing to Ray.
Okay, what does this mean? No, I do not feel invincible, like the teenage dope of yesteryear doing 75mph in a 30mph zone. But I do feel protected. I know that things can harm me, yet have felt as though they would not harm me.
I am not being presumptuous of God’s love, only acknowledging His Grace in the moment. Which leads us to a slight alteration of the third stanza of the song Amazing Grace.
Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.
Together.
This is where we’ll stop before traveling to bring our son home. May peace and prayers be with you; and may your prayers be with Rose, Ray, my father, and me.
Yours truly,
Demian
