The weekly update from AGCI came on Thursday during Holy Week, since the office was off on Good Friday. With Easter upon us Emily of AGCI asked all of the families to pick one child to pray for so that they may find a Forever Family. Here are excerpts from her words:
“There comes a point each time we receive our special needs children when the days that we have them is drawing closer to an end and we start to feel anxious about placements. This group has been especially so due to the new restrictions that China has placed on families wanting to adopt. We have had to say no to families that in the past we have not had to and it breaks our hearts, to have rules and regulations stand between a child and a home. As we look at these little faces we are now faced with a dwindling time frame of placement and a large number of kids.
“…Prayer is a powerful thing, in the tangible world of today I think we often jump to the ‘practical action’ that we can do to make things happen. I find myself wanting to do that often with the placement of these kids, but it is powerful for us in our hearts and for these kids to continually give this to God. I want to extend an invitation of prayer for these kids. Over this weekend of Easter celebration, choose one of the children on our list and pray for them specifically. I would ask that you be very purposeful and specific about the child you chose, one that has rested on your heart, one that has caught your eye, one that you continually go back to see if they have been placed and pray for them. Focus your prayers on one child, on their placement, on them right now this day, for their birth mother, for their future adoptive family. Pray for open hearts. Lift them up and concentrate your prayer on that one child and their story.
"We are the advocates for these children, we are their voice and we must do all that we can. A defining and common theme in the stories of these children is that they have been left – our prayers can be the stronghold and shelter for these little ones. For some of these precious children this may be the first time anyone has prayed for them, this may be the first time that anyone has taken them on and stood in the gap for them.”
Words can move us, and these did. “Lift them up and concentrate your prayer on that one child and their story,” she implored. Stand in the gap for them, she enjoined. That is powerful. How could one not follow? Hey, if one is too busy to pray, one is too busy.
Writing today it is sadly shared I can no longer picture in my mind all the children on the AGCI Waiting Children website during that April weekend. Yet I clearly see a flat-out beautiful seven-year girl, with the biggest smile going. She apparently had "little dark spots" all over her body as her special need. Her name was Li, and that’s who I chose.
Staying focused in prayer is a challenge for me, and I tried my best for this little lady. Thursday. Friday. Satur…um, what was going on here? Seriously – what? I found myself falling for picture of a girl hanging onto a jungle gym 13,000 miles away. But it just couldn’t be. Li would be eight in late summer and Julia wasn’t turning six until a few months from now. Rose and I had talked at some point in the distant past before all this started that Julia would remain the oldest.
Easter Sunday came – Praises for the Risen Lord! Between getting pretty, getting into The Word of God, getting The Word of God into us, and getting around town, the day went quickly. I was still silently pondering what stirred in my heart by the time we visited my Aunt Rose and Uncle Matt’s for dinner. Their family’s fabulous food and benevolence bought me time. But was that a good thing? Upon piling in the car later to go home, it dawned on me time was running out.
Staying focused in prayer is a challenge for me, and I tried my best for this little lady. Thursday. Friday. Satur…um, what was going on here? Seriously – what? I found myself falling for picture of a girl hanging onto a jungle gym 13,000 miles away. But it just couldn’t be. Li would be eight in late summer and Julia wasn’t turning six until a few months from now. Rose and I had talked at some point in the distant past before all this started that Julia would remain the oldest.
Easter Sunday came – Praises for the Risen Lord! Between getting pretty, getting into The Word of God, getting The Word of God into us, and getting around town, the day went quickly. I was still silently pondering what stirred in my heart by the time we visited my Aunt Rose and Uncle Matt’s for dinner. Their family’s fabulous food and benevolence bought me time. But was that a good thing? Upon piling in the car later to go home, it dawned on me time was running out.
The seat next to me was empty as we drove home in the dark. Rose was in the back seat of the mini-van letting Julia play with her hair, in hopes that she would fall asleep; Ben and Elizabeth were right behind me. It became apparent that sharing was necessary. It was an awkward now-or-never situation.
“Rose, what do you think about that little seven-year old
girl?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The girl on AGCI’s website. I’ve been praying about her.”
“Yes?”
“What about adopting her?”“What are you talking about?”
The radio had been turned down within these 20 seconds. Over the remaining 20 minutes back to Finksburg we talked it out. This would be a big step to say the least. Sure, I had joined Rose on the path to Special Needs, but neither of us had budged from the baby-age.
It is interesting how really practical points come into the discussion. “She would have a great start on being bilingual.” “We wouldn’t have to worry about changing diapers.” In a way, even though brought up sincerely, they are so superficial. Decisions needed to be anchored into the deep. Rose said she would need prayer about it.
She shocked me less than seven hours later when we awoke by saying ‘yes’ to committing to Li. And as excited as I was, it was necessary to tackle the task of confirming the commitment of hers. I left the house for work, with both of us assured. Less than a minute later we were talking again, on the phone, almost in disbelief at what would happen in our lives this very morning.
For the geographically-challenged, Oregon is on the left coast and Maryland on the other one; this actually presented a challenge in patience for us due to three-hour time difference. At best AGCI would be open at 11:30am our time. Either way, we called Kate of AGCI and left an early-morning voicemail letting her know we wanted to talk about the little lady; this was immediately followed up with an email requesting a 12:15pmEST conference call.
Work went by, as did time. No response from Kate. 12:15pm? Passed by. At 12:30pm we called into AGCI looking for anyone. Tiffany picked up and said she’d let Kate know we wanted to talk. At 12:36pm another email was sent just requesting availability. Hey, it can be tough for a family in our emotional state to remember the Copernican Revolution, as there were many moments we thought all rotated around us. This was such a moment.
It is interesting how really practical points come into the discussion. “She would have a great start on being bilingual.” “We wouldn’t have to worry about changing diapers.” In a way, even though brought up sincerely, they are so superficial. Decisions needed to be anchored into the deep. Rose said she would need prayer about it.
She shocked me less than seven hours later when we awoke by saying ‘yes’ to committing to Li. And as excited as I was, it was necessary to tackle the task of confirming the commitment of hers. I left the house for work, with both of us assured. Less than a minute later we were talking again, on the phone, almost in disbelief at what would happen in our lives this very morning.
For the geographically-challenged, Oregon is on the left coast and Maryland on the other one; this actually presented a challenge in patience for us due to three-hour time difference. At best AGCI would be open at 11:30am our time. Either way, we called Kate of AGCI and left an early-morning voicemail letting her know we wanted to talk about the little lady; this was immediately followed up with an email requesting a 12:15pmEST conference call.
Work went by, as did time. No response from Kate. 12:15pm? Passed by. At 12:30pm we called into AGCI looking for anyone. Tiffany picked up and said she’d let Kate know we wanted to talk. At 12:36pm another email was sent just requesting availability. Hey, it can be tough for a family in our emotional state to remember the Copernican Revolution, as there were many moments we thought all rotated around us. This was such a moment.
Less than 20 minutes later another call was made to AGCI, and I asked for Emily. Rose’s response six hours earlier was unexpected, and so was Emily’s: another family had this little girl’s file on hold.
On hold?
On hold?
I believed her message, but could not comprehend it. My business mentality emerged…even if it remained internalized. What was she talking about?! It had been just two business hours from her email! TWO!!! I mean, we left a voicemail and sent an email well before the doors opened. What, did someone call a minute after the email was sent on Thursday?
On hold?
I believed her message, but could not comprehend it. My business mentality emerged…even if it remained internalized. What was she talking about?! It had been just two business hours from her email! TWO!!! I mean, we left a voicemail and sent an email well before the doors opened. What, did someone call a minute after the email was sent on Thursday?
I still pushed forward, somewhat pathetically and quietly. “How does the process play out when a child is on hold?” The family has five business days to submit a contract to AGCI, I was told. “When did their five days begin?” Thursday (I had my answer).
Oh, God, what was I going to tell Rose? How do you tell a mother about a child she will now not have? What does a doctor say to a mother and father when the Doppler doesn’t detect a heart beat, and the sonogram confirms it minutes later without a sound? How do mothers heal from miscarriages?
I won't go into the silence on the phone when we connected. As the phrase goes, it was deafening. I was staring at “Li’s” pictured tiled all over my laptop’s wallpaper, while my dear wife was staring into nothingness. Our hearts had risen together, and now had fallen together, eliciting the kind of emotions that you physically feel inside your body.
The quiet was difficult. The whole thing was difficult. The AGCI conversations were supposed to elicit screams of joy from the mountaintop; the talks were to be brisk and full of next steps. Yet we were sorrowful in the valley, and only had repeated pain with our strides. We held out hope each day.
Hope is one of the Big Three in Christian virtues, that with Faith and Charity (1 Cor 13:13). Alas, we misapplied it. We took the gift of rejoicing in “sharing the glory of God” (Rom 5:2) and reduced it to selfish thought and selfish behavior. Where, exactly, had our focus been? By the time Kate called us on Thursday with the expected update it would be nice to say our focus was not on us, and rather on an orphan finding a Forever Family.
I won't go into the silence on the phone when we connected. As the phrase goes, it was deafening. I was staring at “Li’s” pictured tiled all over my laptop’s wallpaper, while my dear wife was staring into nothingness. Our hearts had risen together, and now had fallen together, eliciting the kind of emotions that you physically feel inside your body.
The quiet was difficult. The whole thing was difficult. The AGCI conversations were supposed to elicit screams of joy from the mountaintop; the talks were to be brisk and full of next steps. Yet we were sorrowful in the valley, and only had repeated pain with our strides. We held out hope each day.
Hope is one of the Big Three in Christian virtues, that with Faith and Charity (1 Cor 13:13). Alas, we misapplied it. We took the gift of rejoicing in “sharing the glory of God” (Rom 5:2) and reduced it to selfish thought and selfish behavior. Where, exactly, had our focus been? By the time Kate called us on Thursday with the expected update it would be nice to say our focus was not on us, and rather on an orphan finding a Forever Family.
We would move to that state with time.
1 comment:
Demian,
Oh how those red threads work! I found the picture of Li on April 9 on the Rainbow Kids photo listing and immediately clicked on the AGCI link to get more information on that beautiful little girl! When I got to the waiting children page, there was Li's picture, right next to my daughter, Sui Yong! I fell in love with Sui Yong immediately and called AGCI to find out about her and Li. Tiffany told me that Li was already spoken for but by then, I was more interested in whether or not Sui Yong was spoken for!
A few weeks ago, I was thinking about Li again which I often do, and wondered whether or not she was home yet and called Tiffany. She put me in contact with Li's parents who are slightly behind me in the wait. Wish I would be able to travel with them. The girls are very close by in Guangdong and they are the same age! It's amazing how these things work out! You are about to hold your little boy for the first time and Li and Sui Yong are not far behind in coming home to their forever families!
Lots of love and eagerly awaiting your first picture!
Donna
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